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“Mrs Jongers cast off the writ and trampled on it”: two versions of a 1903 incident at Christopher Street Pier

The very first thing that I stumbled across when I began researching Louise D’Aubray McAllister (b. 1874) on a whim one idle evening was this New York Times article, dated 19 June 1903, detailing a dramatic set of events among the crowds at a Manhattan pier:

NYT, 19 June 1903. Click to enlarge.

Three days later, on 22 June, the paper printed the shorter follow-up below. Note the circled paragraph: this is the Times quietly sneaking in a correction, clarifying that its breathless account of the incident had been wrong on some crucial points. No kidnap took place at the pier that day, after all, and there had never been any plan for the little girl to travel with her mother and stepfather on their honeymoon trip. However, Louise’s ex-husband Alexander C. Young did have form for this sort of thing, and did go on to snatch their daughter from her grandmother’s care in a separate incident very soon afterwards.

NYT, 22 June 1903.

I didn’t know it at the time, but I’d hit a startlingly productive seam of sensational stories relating to this branch of the family. They’re such very distant connections – Louise was my 2nd cousin 3 times removed – that I hardly think of them as relatives at all, but they’re no less interesting to me for that. Alexander Young is a particularly colourful figure about whom I’d like to write more (probably not here, though. He was many things, but he wasn’t a woman).

Quantities of newly digitized historical newspapers are becoming available online all the time, and it can be interesting to look at the varying ways in which different papers cover an incident. I recently found another version of this story in the St Louis Republic, dated 21 June 1903 – after the first NYT report, but before the correction. The Republic takes a very different approach to the initial (incorrect) story of the kidnap attempt at the pier, putting a kind of proto-Daily Mail/Fathers4Justice-style spin on it.

St Louis Republic, 21 June 1903 (enlarge it to read).

Observe the contrasting perspectives at work: while the Times casts Louise and her new husband as relatively dignified victims of Young’s shouty, uncouth behaviour during what, we are told, was his fourth (!) attempt to kidnap his daughter, the Republic does everything it possibly can to make Young into a wronged hero. So the Times has “Snatched Baby at Pier: Alexander C. Young Took His Child From Its Mother”, while the Republic chooses to run with “Regained Child at Ship’s Pier: Recently Divorced Woman About to Take Little Girl Away With New Husband”. Damn those divorced women with legal custody! What’ll they try next?

The Republic‘s account opens with a description of Louise walking up the gangplank in front of a hissing crowd, “leaving behind her 3-year-old daughter, who had been taken from her on habeas corpus proceedings”. The implications that the crowd disapproved of Louise, that she was calmly abandoning her child at the last moment after having planned to travel with her, and that Young’s service of a writ had achieved a legitimate goal, are clear (and, it seems, completely invented). Next, the paper snidely suggests that Louise has “figured prominently” in the divorce courts “during the last ten years”, making no mention of the fact that her only divorce – from Young, who’d himself had two divorces, though this too is left out – was granted on grounds of his adultery and misbehaviour.

Then there’s the explanation that Louise has married again. To an artist, no less. And he’s French. Both papers give most of this information, but it’s only in the Republic‘s version that you get the feeling some eyebrow-waggling is being conveyed between the lines. And let’s not overlook the disorderly conduct, ascribed by the Republic to Louise and her husband rather than to Young: “So violent were the protests of Jongers and his wife that the uproar attracted the attention of the crowd on the pier, and the police were obliged to step in and restore order.”

The battle for little Louise rolled on for quite a while after this mostly-imaginary incident hit the headlines. It was widely reported, and most of the coverage that I’ve read tends towards either condemning Young’s behaviour, or describing events in a way that flatters neither parent. Sometimes there’s a bit of a sardonic “see how the rich live!” tone. But the attitude that colours this Republic piece, so keen to present Louise in the worst possible light, is rarely seen and does set it somewhat apart from the rest. Whether the paper’s editorial stance was a little backward-looking on this point, more than usually attached to a disapproving view of divorced women that was gradually being left behind by many people, I don’t know.

This page has a useful, brief account of changing laws and trends in US divorce and child custody disputes over the years. William O’Neill’s 1965 article “Divorce in the Progressive Era” from American Quarterly is worth reading as well if you’re researching the issue. No doubt there’s other, newer research to be found as well, and I’d be glad to hear from anyone who can point me towards it.

Header image: View to the south from Christopher Street Pier c.2008, sourced from Wikipedia (public domain).

Feminism, transphobia and parenting

Last night I stumbled upon a Twitter conversation about Radfem2012, a London-based conference promoted with the slogan “Women Together for Liberation”. It’s scheduled for 14/15 July, and it was being talked about because of its stated policy (see this page) of only allowing “women born women living as women” to participate. No trans people, is what they’re getting at. (You can bring your kids, though, so girls and boys up to 11 are allowed; though presumably they’ll enjoy the vibe a whole lot less if they happen to be trans themselves.)

Despite my tendency to let wibbling uncertainty dominate my thinking on contentious feminist issues, this one seems pretty black and white to me. It’s easy enough to have a knee-jerk “that’s unfair!” response despite knowing nothing of the context, and that is what I did, but then I spent a bit of time reading about the reasons behind the policy, just to try and understand why on earth a group of feminists would arrive at such a weirdly wrong-headed decision. This morning I took a sort-of-half-day-off and sat on the sofa doing some more reading. And, yep, still think it’s unfair. Misguided, troubling, hypocritical, callous. Here’s a really good, clear piece about the wider issue that I saw linked earlier, though it dates from 2011.

I was reading that piece when I got distracted by this item on BBC Breakfast about Harper Robertson, a young transgender man whose parents are musician Thomas Dolby & actress Kathleen Beller. Dolby’s written a song referencing Harper’s experience, so they were all featured on the programme discussing some aspects of that.

It’s a pre-recorded package (is that the word I want?) rather than a live studio interview, and essentially warm and fuzzy rather than starkly hard-hitting. I’m not sure to what extent it’s simply a promotional exercise for Dolby’s album, but I wasn’t inclined to be cynical about it because the family presented such a welcome contrast to some of the transphobia I’d been reading about immediately beforehand. It struck me as I watched Harper talk about growing up, and Dolby and Beller give the parents’ perspective, how much happier people generally seem to be when they aren’t pouring their energy into fearful, oppressive control-freakery. That, I suppose, is worth bearing in mind no matter what you get up to in life, whether or not you raise children; but still easily forgotten, as illustrated by the many folk who cling stubbornly on to suspicion and dislike as armour against the world, and apparently perceive transgender individuals as just one type of threat among many in a world seething with terrifying Otherness.

I know it is tiresome when people say “as a parent”, but since I am a parent and my children are still little, any discussion that highlights how badly it is possible to fail them in ways I haven’t previously considered is guaranteed to catch my attention. And anyone modelling a better approach in the mainstream media, like Beller and Dolby, is reassuring to see, celebs or not. They’re a welcome example of an alternative to a parenting style that acknowledges no conflict inherent in trying to raise beloved human beings to be happy and sorted, whilst vigorously objecting to a series of random things that are offensive and threatening about the lives, circumstances and choices of other people. Those who take this approach and also identify as feminists – e.g. the hypothetical Radfem2012 attendees, and some tweeters I was following last night (sample view: “As a feminist I find it insulting that men want to identify as women”) – add a whole other layer of oddness. Apart from anything else, how are they so blind to the possibility that their determined transphobia might one day backfire on their own families?

Whilst the Radfem organizers prepare to vigorously see off trans invaders from the high walls of their City of Womanhood, there’s another conference coming up called Intersect: it’s actually tomorrow (19 May 2012). I am not going (I cannot pretend that I ever go to these things), but it does sound good, and even if you’re not going either it’s worth taking a look at their programme because they will be streaming events live. The emphasis is on inclusivity. Info here.

“An object lesson in graceful living”

This is the text that my great-uncle Ray read at Augusta Hylander’s memorial service in Hamilton, NY in 1965. (Ray was her son-in-law.) I’ve been meaning for ages to post it as a footnote to her memoir.

It’s the final bit of material I have to add about Augusta’s life, at least for now – but I still hope, one of these days, to find out more about the story of her childhood homestead surviving within the grounds of Malmö Airport. If anyone reading this knows any more about that, do please get in touch!

Augusta Parsons Hylander (1873–1965)

Mother Hylander brightened every life she touched. There was a glow, an enthusiasm, an inextinguishable optimism, a contagious good spirits, a vitality that won her friendships everywhere she went. She loved people, especially young people, for she was eternally young in her attitudes and interests. Independent and strong-minded, she always lived for others, investing her unceasing love and devotion, first in her own family and then on her grandchildren and great-grandchildren, all of whom adored her and have been inspired by her.

She expected the best of others, took them for what they were and found them good. Nothing got her down, dampened her spirits, though she had known hardships. She always looked on the bright side of things, expected the best, was not disheartened by the worst, and, therefore, enjoyed living. Endowed with a real pride in being, based on mature self-confidence, she looked back with genuine satisfaction upon 93 years lived with joy and to the full.

Her life was a monument to what it means to be a human being, an object lesson in graceful living. The contagion of her spirit will long survive her. The world is a better place because she lived.

 

Wedding guest in poodle dress, 27 May 1945

These photos are of my grandparents’ wedding in Orange, New Jersey in May 1945. Lovely as they are, I’m posting them mainly to showcase the fantastic poodle-print dress worn by one of the guests (sadly not someone I recognize). Good, isn’t it? In fact, I love her whole outfit, accessorised with a slightly wary expression. Belated congratulations to her on a winning look.

The cutaway shoes of the woman on the left and the rather lovely three-piece suit and striped sock ensemble of the gentleman in the centre deserve a mention as well. Click the photos to enlarge.

The guests wait for things to get started

I love the concentration on my grandmother’s face in the next photo.

(My guess is that poodle dress girl’s mother is standing beside her here, wouldn’t you say? At least, they look alike to me. But as we have recently learned, I’m prone to imagining resemblances in old photos.)

The vows

The poodles take centre stage

Cake

Throwing the bouquet

Confetti for the bride

So, that mystery? Not solved.

A few months ago, I posted about an unlabelled family photo that I’d been trying to identify.

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News in brief

Wow. I’ve been away from the blog for so long that I nearly couldn’t remember the password to log in just now.

I’m in the middle of a big proofreading job, one with myriad tiny abbreviations and awkward XML issues. It isn’t exactly difficult, just s-l-o-w, and lots of it has to be squeezed in around the edges of the rest of life, with extensive use of evenings and weekends and snatched hours of extra childcare on days I don’t officially work. It has followed hard on the heels of another long job, so things have been a bit pushed for a while now.

This is all good; I wouldn’t dream of complaining that work’s coming in. However, tonight I just can’t face doing any more of it so thought I would pop in here, remind myself I have a blog, and note a few things for the record.

  • A quick look at the stats just now suggests that a decent quantity of readers are clicking through from here to various feminist blogs. This is a fairly recent development, and I’m really happy to see it. My visitor numbers are pretty modest overall, but that’s fine as long as people are finding useful links.
  • Some relatives, connected by way of the Lindsley family, have been in touch, which is great – especially as they’re also researching their family history. (I owe them an email in thanks for some documents they’ve sent over from the States, which have considerably brightened my week.) Interestingly, they seem certain that the mystery woman in this photograph is definitely not the person I’d concluded she might be – nor indeed any other Lindsley relative. If they are right, not only have I been barking up the wrong tree, but in completely the wrong bit of the forest. While it’s a shame to hear this (and I guess we may never know for certain), I’m intrigued by the fact that we see the images so differently. I’ll try to put up a separate short post about it all soon, with some further photos that they’ve been kind enough to share.
  • Another lovely person has been in touch via Ancestry about Augusta Parsons Hylander. I owe her a message, too.
  • I’m trying to read Carol Berkin’s Revolutionary Mothers, but not finding it quite as compelling as some of the other books I’ve posted about. Good Wives and The Name of War were pretty hard acts to follow, admittedly. I’ll press on, and maybe it’ll pick up.
  • The 1940 US Census is out! Not indexed yet, but searchable. I took ten minutes to look for someone the other day and completely failed to find him, but it was a long shot to start with, as he had a history of moving around a lot. It’ll be fun to work on searching others out, when I can find enough time to do it properly.
  • I’m thinking about posting more here about my Scottish research in the future. I haven’t as many family photos from that side, which has held me back a bit before now. On the other hand, living in Edinburgh it’s easier to access a range of Scottish records directly, which is fun in itself.

More soon, I hope.

We Believe You: the Mumsnet campaign against rape and sexual assault

[Trigger warning, both for the content of the post and the links.]

Mumsnet, the enormous UK parenting website on whose talkboards topics far removed from parenting are routinely tackled with fearlessness and humour, has launched a major campaign to raise awareness of rape and sexual assault and to tackle rape myths. It’s called “We Believe You”. On Twitter, it has inspired the #webelieveyou and #ididnotreport hashtags.*

It’s important to note, if only to forestall the inevitable objections, that this is not a campaign to overturn the legal presumption of innocence. Rather, it is about tackling the climate of skepticism and outright hostility that routinely surrounds those who report rape or assault. An unprecedentedly large-scale survey on the topic, conducted by MN earlier this year, gave disturbing results: Read more

Where is the feminism on this blog? Eh? Where is it?

Having set about this project in order to push myself to read more about feminism, I’m painfully aware that little evidence of that reading is trickling through to my posts. Months have slid by since I last had a navel-gazing blog moment, so maybe a further word on the subject is needed.

What’s happened, essentially, is that I’ve learned enough in the past year to get a better handle on exactly how little I know about various current feminist issues. There’s so much good and thought-provoking analysis and comment around (and some not so good, some deeply irritating, some banal). It is exciting to explore it, which I’m doing mainly by way of articles and blogs rather than books just at present, but it’s also somewhat overwhelming in a way that makes me disinclined to shoot my mouth off in blog form – or even very much on Twitter, where I tend to retweet the serious stuff rather than offer my own take.

I keep thinking of the broken eggs/omelette analogy, tediously unoriginal as that may be. It’s like I’ve cracked open a whole lot of topics to see what’s inside, but not yet managed to make of them anything new that feels worth showing you. They’re rich and interesting, messy and slippery: rape culture, pornography, quotas, exclusivity, privilege. As for where the family history side fits in, it’s hard to say exactly. It may not fit in at all, it’s just a thing I like spending time on that I’m trying to handle in a particular way; the extra ingredient I always have such trouble folding in properly without destroying my omelettes. The tomatoes, OK? In blog terms, so far, I have prepared a frankly excessive quantity of tomatoes, but the eggs are all still swirling around in the mixing bowl with not enough happening in the way of integrating them. Read more

Jill Lepore: The Name of War: King Philip’s War and the Origins of American Identity

The bookseller recommended Brogan’s Penguin History of the United States of America. I bought it. An early clue that this might not have been a good decision came when I noticed …

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New blog (and pilot ‘live chat’ scheme) at the UK National Archives site

The UK National Archives has just launched a blog, to which people from various departments will contribute posts not just about their own work, but about ‘the wider archives sector’.

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